When you find the one…

When you find the one, love them unconditionally.

When you find the one, do not ever let them go.

When you find the one, cherish them with all that you are.

When you find the one, tell them you love them.

When you find the one, don’t ever take them for granted.

When you find the one, you will know.

I found my one. My one person I know will spend the rest of my life with. The one that I will build a family with and love forever without fail. I have found the one that I am going to marry and have children with. I have found my one.

Lose your fear of the future because everything will work out, even if it doesn’t work out perfectly. We are all imperfect and broken people. We must know that there will be hills and valley’s in life. We have to remember to just keep swimming.

It is a wonderful thought, the future. No matter what it may be, the future holds so many things that we can’t even really begin to imagine. I love to think about the future but often times have to remember that I have a right now too. To live in this moment and to not have any reservations and worries about the future. Holy cow I am just so excited.

Anyway, when you find the one, you’ll know, so don’t ever let them go.

xoxo

Update

Hi there everyone! I feel as though this blog is so up and down all of the time but you know, I give zero cares. This post is just honestly because I am bored and I really miss talking to you all without actually talking to you, cha feel? Goodness I am in a weird weird mood. Anyway, I just got back from Thanksgiving break and am currently avoiding studying for finals, go me. I brought my boyfriend back to Colorado with me to meet my family, remember the one that I freaked out about in my last post. Well things aren’t normally like that, we just were in a little argument or something. Haha anyways, things are pretty much marvelous. When we were back in CO he told me he loved me, and let me tell you, I love him right back. You guys, I honestly think this is the person I am going to marry. I just don’t know how to describe what I feel about him. It is just crazy. Ugh, now I am infatuated and I don’t know what else to say. Alright that is all for now loves, sorry for my randomness!

xoxo

Wonderful or terrible

I am sitting in my english class right now, thinking to myself about how lucky I am. I look out the window to my right and I see a sunny day, with palm trees lining the streets and free flow of traffic, of life. This seems like a silly observation, like we see that kind of stuff every day. But if you really sit there and think about it, it is amazing to think that humans are smart enough to create cars, so that we can get from place to place and unfortunately be stuck in traffic. It is so fortunate for us that God put vegetation on this earth so that we can breathe as they photosynthesize. It is a beautiful thing that I am sitting upright, my spine holds my body up even if it is a little curved. There is breath coming out of my lungs and saliva being created in my mouth, tears can form in my eyes at the drop of the hat. These little things that we take for granted every day just woke me up and shook my heart. Why are we muddling through life and expecting all of these things to happen? I wake up every morning and expect my lungs to function like they did the day before. I expect the sun to rise and it to warm me up. I expect stupid things like my warm bed and running water when I brush my teeth. There are some people that are less fortunate than I and I wonder, do they expect things too? Do they expect to wake up every morning and not just survive but thrive? Or do they take the time to appreciate that they have been gifted with even the smallest of things. Makes you wonder about us. Why on earth, do we need to have the newest iPhone, or computer, or fancy food, or alcohol or whatever your guilty pleasure may be when they barely have anything.

It’s beautiful really. Their innocence. They don’t have to worry about petty things, worldly garbage. It is wonderful and terrible all at the same time.

Thank you

Hello friends. I feel like I am bipolar about this site and only write when something bad is going on. I love hearing peoples comments and replies to what I am saying, even if I just need to rant and freak out for a long time. Thank you all for your love and support. Honestly. It makes me so happy and embarrassed a lot of the time to look back on these posts to see how I was feeling at different parts of my life. I don’t really know where this post is going but I just really wanted to say thank you. Maybe it is time to start a new story, take Nicole on a new adventure. As my life is changing, Nicole’s is too. All I can say right now is thank you. Thank you for sticking with me at my lowest and my highest points. I love you beauties.

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL

I hate the feeling of not being good enough. I hate the feeling of thinking that I am in a shitty relationship. I hate the feeling of the one who is being dumped on all the time and never like a princess. I don’t want to sound conceded but I really do think I deserve better sometimes. I know that I am not perfect by any means but I don’t think I deserve this shit.

Heres another thing though. I know I am not being treated poorly. Right now I am really vulnerable to feelings and sadness because of recent events but that doesn’t mean I should get the short end of the stick.

My head is spinning out of control right now, it is even hard for me to focus on these keys and this screen. I just think I need a timeout from life. A breather where I can sit and cry or pray or something and not be bothered by anything. I don’t know how I am supposed to be able to get that though. How am I supposed to get solitude and silence and time.

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL.

What. The. Actual. Hell.

Tonight I am very full of emotions. I don’t know how this is going to come across, I just really need to spill everything I am feeling right now. Logan and I have been talking a lot lately and we have really become the best of friends again and honestly that makes my heart so astoundingly happy. But tonight he has chosen something that I don’t understand. He has decided to cut me out of his life completely. I honestly am so shocked at this point my brain might explode or something. Half of me wants to cry my eyes out until the sun comes up and half of me wants to punch a hole through the wall in my dorm room. But I am just in pure utter shock right now. I want to cry but nothing is coming out. I want to punch a hole but only my fingers are working right now. I can’t blink, I am staring at the screen in disbelief as I see these texts roll in and I just want to i don’t know. I can’t begin to understand this. I don’t want to understand this but I also want to ask you why. Why the hell are you doing this to me? Yes its your life and you get to choose but its my life too. It’s not fair. You can’t do this to me. You can’t toy with me like this. It all feels fake now and I don’t get it.

Agape

Hello, beautiful humans!

Life update time! Everything has been super busy but let me just start off my saying college rocks my socks. My experiences here have been more than wonderful, they have completely exceeded my expectations. Life is honestly so good right now. I have great friends, a wonderful boyfriend, school work can get a little stressful but we already knew that.

To start, friends. Friend wise, the list of people I meet expands every day. That’s the wonderful thing about college is that everyone is so friendly and you never stop being friendly. If I were to walk up to a random person around campus they would engage in a conversation with me. It is kinda the coolest thing ever to me. People are so nice here and I am sure that it is like that at a lot of other places. Something silly that I noticed is that boys always hold doors no matter how far away you are and I freaking love that like what? I love that everyone loves Jesus here too. It is not hard find people who share the same faith and beliefs as you do. My professors are like that too. Most of them even start off class with a prayer over the students. I love it here so much. I have a wonderful roommate too, she is the light of my life. She cracks me up every single minute of every single day. Love her to death. My suite mates are wonderful too. They’re the kind of people that anyone could enjoy and thats super annoying because I wish I could be that kind of person but we all know that I am not but that is totally okay. Both of them are from California and they are just so beach and fun and it makes me jealous but hey, its cool, I am not bitter at all. Jk a little but I love them.

Next, the boyfriend. We have been hanging out for about two weeks now and I met him through a mutual friend from back home. Let me tell y’all, he is wonderful. I actually have zero bad things to say about him. It’s not like a he’s cute but his personality sucks. He is absolutely marvelous. I can say, right here and right now that I love this man and I will be marrying him one day. Now I know that’s super weird and creepy since I have known him for like a month and only been hanging out with him for like two weeks but I love him. There was a moment when I just knew and I wish I could just tell you all about it but it was so indescribable, I can’t even put it into words. So right here, right now, in this moment, you all know that I have found the boy that I am going to marry.

Last but always first, Jesus. Since I have been here, I have fallen in love with Jesus. This is different from ever before. I am falling in love with Him more and more every day. More than I could ever really love anyone. I think it is wonderful too. He fulfills me like no one else can and I wish I could show him as much love as he shows me but I don’t think that it is humanly possible. God’s love is agape. This is a love that we will never be able to feel as humans. His love surpasses all earthly love and completely takes over everything that we are, have been, and will ever be. Thank you Jesus for giving me life and for loving me, despite all of the awful things I have done in my life. I thank you for everything and I praise you for all of your goodness.

Sleep well lovelies, I hope you are prospering and living as fully and thankfully as I am right now.

All my love, Nicole