My brain doesn’t turn off most nights.

Here’s to the people who don’t know where their life is going because that is me. My entire life is one big question mark and some part of that excites me and some part of that scares me and some part of that makes me so anxious. Why won’t it start already? Why can’t that boy just like me? What is wrong with me that I don’t know what I want to do with my life?

Is it wrong that I already want to drop out of college? Is it bad that I have second thoughts about my life and the choices I have made thus far? Coming to this school, at this time in my life, could it all be right? Nothing seems to feel correct right now. It feels off balance and like this is wrong. I love it here but is this really what I am “stuck” with for the next four years.

Here’s a love rant. I love my roommate. I love every single thing about her. We are so alike and so different. There is so much to her that I just get to discover more of each day. I think that’s what I love about her. She’s like an onion, and onions have layers. There is always a new and exciting adventure with this girl. Her laugh is contagious and you really can’t help but smile when you are around her. My favorite thing is when it gets past 10 pm. This is my favorite time to spend with my girl cuz the moment ten hits, she becomes the most bubbly and slap happy person you ever met in your entire life.

That’s another thing that’s hard for me. Not seeing eye to eye with everyone I meet. My roomie and I share the same humor and sarcasm and that doesn’t always help while making friends. That’s not to say we haven’t made loads of friends we just seem to find contention within a lot of relationships.

I want to say thank you. Thank you to my faves. Thank you to the people who have always been there for me. To my bestie at NAU, shoutout to your first time on this page! To my family, I love you guys with all of my heart and miss you more than you can even fathom. To my best friend back home Novalee, I love you dearly and miss you with all of my heart. I don’t know if you will ever read this Nova but I just want to tell you, I am scared. I am scared that one day things will go to far for you, and you are going to get yourself into some big trouble or even get hurt. I miss you so much and I love you too much to ever let that happen. Please take care of yourself while I am away and do the right thing for me. I love you bunches. See ya soon then love, don’t forget me.

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