There goes a fighter.

As you all know, I haven’t been one for blogging recently and it’s because my life kind of spun out of control and I have had a difficult time reigning it back it. As many of you don’t know, I go to high school in Centennial, Colorado and I am currently a junior. That town might sound a little familiar to some of you as it has been in the news a lot the past couple of months. Not just local or national even, it has gone global. This little town just a little ways out of Denver has experienced a tragedy. Like I said I am in high school but I don’t go to a normal school, I go to the school that has been in the news a lot recently. Arapahoe High School. Victim of a nasty school shooting leaving two dead, and 2,000 wounded. You’re probably looking at that number thinking she’s crazy no one else got hurt, but in all reality, the rest of the school did. When the story was in the news, they memorialized senior Claire Davis reminding us of her eternal love of life and having fun. We did not make Karl Pierson the hero, we hardly heard of him at all. The rest of the news was about how the community was coming together as a result of this event. Never did the news speak of the unspeakable nightmares some of the remaining students experience on a regular basis or how we flinch every time a locker slams. No one talks about how we, the Arapahoe Warriors are wounded. We are strong, don’t get me wrong but there can only be so much strength in a time like this.

My personal experience was close to the site of the shooting and not something I like to recount all to often but if you are interested I posted my recollections of that day about a month and a half ago. It is a hard thing to have to process. I know first I went through a lot of fear and anger and sadness. All came with different emotional states and a lot of tears were shed. Now I personally am very confused. I feel like I don’t know how to move forward from this point like I am stuck here in this state of fear and loneliness not even a best friend or a mother can cure. I hope the people that say, “it will get better with time,” are right because I do not want to live like this anymore.

I was thrown a lot of curveballs in 2013. It was a year of highs and lows but somehow I made it through fighting. Everyday I seem to put a smile on my face and give all the people a front. Maybe it isn’t such a bad thing either, maybe it is apart of my healing. Dealing with my personal side first and then really helping others understand what I am going through. Life is like a box of chocolates though, since you never know what you are going to get.

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