I knew things were going to be different but not this different. I pour my heart into you and you pour your heart into me but the second you actually see me, everything changes. I used to be able to make you smile now all I can see is a vacant expression. It kills me what you do. I don’t understand how I could feel so close then the next minute so far.
I’ve felt so numb for so long. I don’t think it’s because of you but it is affecting you. Sometimes I wake up not knowing which way is up and which way is down, lost in a daze, my eyes glazed over with an unresponsive imagination. I have a hard time feeling things sometimes. I don’t know whether I should feel happy or just keep feeling sad. It’s hard not to feel sad too. I can see the light that used to be in your eyes behind the stare and the seeming unhappiness. My most used phrase to you is, ‘was it worth it,’ even knowing I will never get that answer.
Sometimes I wonder what I ever did to fall in love with you. Then just the other day it hit me. I didn’t do anything. It was all you.
Listening to all this noise and chatter I cant imagine ever being that way. So obsessed with one interaction or one smile. Now it seems so simple. You meet someone, you start to talk, everything seems natural, and then by some unknown reason, you end up falling in love. I don’t understand it. I don’t think the brightest minds of our time even understand it. Truthfully we all crave it, its in our nature. The only reason I have to explain that is, it’s the closest thing we have to magic.

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