I am just empty now.

Sometimes I would like to scream at people, ‘YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE,’ then walk away. If I feel empty, I feel empty and you really don’t have any reason to tell me how to feel. You may be my friend but you don’t know what I am feeling. Truthfully, I loved him. I think I always will in someway its just a fact of my life now. All those hours I ‘wasted’ on him weren’t wasted. It isn’t fair to say that. Truthfully, I want to be with him more than anything in the world right now even though I know he treated me like absolute SHIT. And yes that’s a little bit much on the emphasis there, but he did hurt me and I hate him for it, but you cannot stop loving someone. That’s in our nature as human beings. We fall in love. We were made to love and be loved and that’s how we survive and thrive is off of love. I wouldn’t have any other way either. If we fall in love and live happily ever after or if you break my heart and we never speak again I know that you still loved me. If it feels amazing and I get the butterflies or I spend hours crying over you, I know that it was real because I am feeling something. I like to embrace my emotions. Right now I feel kinda empty. Not lonely, just like there should be something more than there is in my heart and I know how to fill it, my brain just refuses to let me. I still love him. Very much.

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